Random thoughts as I ran 20 miles today…
“Wow. There is nobody around. I hope a wild animal doesn’t start chasing me. I’d probably die.”
“There is no way David Goggins ran a 135-mile ultra marathon in 130° heat. I can’t even do 2 miles in 74 degrees.”
“This song is terrible.”
“Why am I doing this… why am I doing this… Why am I doing this…”
“Ah. A lone female jogger. Should I acknowledge her or not acknowledge her? What presents me as less creepy or threatening? Guess I’ll do the ‘smile-frown head-nod’ at 10 yards out.”
She doesn’t look up.
“Well that was awkward.”
“Why did I do an ‘out and back’ route? Now I have to run ten miles back to my car or… I dunno… maybe I’ll just live here now.”
“Stupid running.”
Another jogger passes me like I’m standing still. “I could totally beat this guy in a race… if I was lighter… and younger… and in better shape…”
Three e-bikers pass me out of nowhere (as I’m completely spaced out listening to music). A spike of adrenaline causes me to audibly gasp and I about run off the trail.
“HOLY CRAP!!! … sigh I am so awkward. Did I just tweak my knee doing that?” 🙄
“Huh. I guess my right headphone will die after about 16 miles. Awesome.”
“Running 17 miles is stupid…”
“Running 18 miles is stupid…”
“Running 19 miles is stupid…”
“Ugh. I have to cross the road. I’m not stopping for this car. I’ll probably fall down. If he hits me, he hits me. If I die… I die. (Running is stupid.)”
After finally finishing 20 miles… just sitting in my car with the 1,000-yard stare.
“There’s no way I’m gonna be able to do six more miles. They’re gonna have to carry me.”
“Why do I do this to myself? Why do I need to prove to myself that I can do this?”
“Maybe you need to know that you can overcome seemingly impossible challenges.”
“‘Hard things’ are stupid.”
“Hard things ARE stupid.”
“But you can still do hard things.”