“There will come a time as a p…
“There will come a time as a p…
“There will come a time as a parent when you pick your child up, put them down, and never pick them up again… and you won’t even know that was the last time.”
I do remember the last time I ever picked up Jonny (who is now 17). I remember thinking—knowing it would be the last time, and it broke my heart. Jonny was about 11.
When I picked him up for the last time, it startled him. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like the loss of control. He worried that he would fall and he felt safer on his own two feet.
For every day of every month of every year of Jonny’s life up to that point, “Daddy’s shoulder” was the very definition of “safety.”
“I want Daddy to hold me,” was practically Jonny’s childhood mantra.
“Daddy’s shoulder” was Jonny’s place of zen…
…of safety and security…
…of hours upon hours of watching the Muppet Show at 3AM and rocking through countless sleepless nights.
But as he grew, he wanted to be held less and less…
Until one day, my shoulder just didn’t offer him the same safety of his childhood like before.
It was such a subtle change, but I knew something had definitely shifted.
And just like that…I knew it would be the last time.
😢
Jonah is now almost the same age Jonny was when I last picked him up, and I know it won’t be long before that “last time comes.”
It’s inevitable.
One day, probably in the next few months, I will pick up Jonah for the last time…
Or maybe it won’t. Maybe I already missed it. 😳😢
I’ve spent so much of parenthood (and my life) just trying to get through all of “this.”
Just trying to press on. Trying to get to next week. And then next month. And then next year.
Sometimes, it seems like we will be in this “phase” of parenthood forever.
Dealing with IEPs and therapies and specialists and accommodation and all of it.
And while some of that notion may be true, nothing prepares you for when your kids finally “grow up.”
When they get bigger. When they no-longer want to be picked up, and you probably couldn’t pick them up even if they DID want it.
Sometimes we are in such a hurry to get to the “top of the mountain,” we forget to cherish the beauty of this journey, no matter how difficult it may seem.
Because you can only walk that path once with each child…
“There will come a time as a parent when you pick your child up, put them down, and never pick them up again… and you won’t even know that was the last time.”
#ausome
