I feel like this is a momentous occasion that sort of just slipped by without any fanfare.
And the number of people and hours that went into making this possible deserve ALL THE FANFARE.
Since Jonah was an infant, he has NEVER sat through a church service with us.
For a while, he was able to be in kids church, until his behaviors started up and then I would get called in to help with him or pick him up.
It got pretty bad. Jonah would throw toys and destroy things other kids were playing with. For several services, I would just keep Jonah in the foyer with me until the service ended.
When childcare wasn’t available, we just wouldn’t go to church.
It has been like that since I can remember.
The last Good Friday service I attended was probably before Jonny was born almost 15 years ago!
Around 2019, our church started up a program called “Bridges” which set out to help children with special needs during service times, pairing children with a one on one volunteer so that the parents could enjoy the service without worrying about their kids.
A complete stranger reached out to us, and volunteered to help with Jonah, for every service she could, for as long as she was available.
Her name was Pam, and she is an Angel.
She would get ahold of us before each service and confirm when we were going and would show up before us waiting in Jonah’s classroom.
She didn’t have a lot of “formal training,” but she had “first-hand” familial experience. And that was good enough for me.
We put together a whole bag of things Jonah might need or want during class. She had fidget toys and redirection items. She would just sit with Jonah and offer any help he might need.
And it didn’t just stop at church.
When the pandemic hit, and we couldn’t go ANYWHERE, much less church, she checked in with us weekly, sometimes with a text message, sometimes over Zoom.
She wanted to make sure we were coping all right. And then, one time, she invited us to join her.
Do you know why?
Because she worked with HORSES. She had a passion to become a hippotherapist using her love of horses to help others.
She had a horse named Chip, and she wanted my boys to come ride.
It was the best thing ever for my boys. Jonny, who was born with low muscle tone, and needed core-strength would benefit immensely… and Jonah, who already loved all things animal-related, desperately needed a way to relieve some of the pent-up pandemic-caused anxiety.
Pam shared her passion with us and my boys both benefited.
Over a year would pass before we even attempted to go back to church.
When Jonah was last in kids church, he was still in the preschool classroom (our church accommodated us even though Jonah was much older than the other kids).
We felt ready to attempt to return about a year ago.
Jonah had behaviorally regressed as a result of the lack of social interaction and his anxiety was through the roof.
But he was now in second grade and relearning how to behave appropriately in a “classroom setting.”
So when I called Pam up a year ago to see if she would help us with Jonah again at church, of course she said “yes.”
I sat with Pam the first couple times in class until Jonah got used to the new routine.
He did so great every week.
If Pam couldn’t make it, I would sit with him. I made sure to bring some redirection toys just for him, or made sure Pam had them on hand. They proved to be very helpful for the times Jonah couldn’t or didn’t want to sit still.
And then, about 6 months ago, the most amazing thing happened. Jonah no-longer needed ANY fidget toys or redirection items. He would actually tell us not to bring them.
“Don’t take it.”
Since Jonah has NEVER made that sort of verbal request, I was confused as to what he meant.
“Don’t take it.” 🤔🤷♂️
So Jonah LITERALLY came up to me as soon as we pulled up to church in the parking lot, and went through my pockets, pulling out his fidget toys, sensory toys, his slap bracelets, his oil/water toys…
“DON’T TAKE IT!!”
How much more clear can you be.
So I told Pam that Jonah had advocated to leave all of his “items” in the car and that she might be flying solo if he needed any behavioral redirection.
She confessed to me that Jonah had needed NO interaction from her at all the last couple times and that he was now probably able to do kids church “all by himself.”
At first I was reluctant. Jonah had needed 1 on 1 help for SO long.
But the following week, when Pam wasn’t able to make it, Jonah VERBALLY told me “DADDY, I WANT SPACE!” when I tried to follow him into the classroom.
The self-advocacy! 🥹
So, after that, I left him to it. No sensory toys. No fidgets. No aides. No Daddy. Nothing.
And he has done fantastic in his class, without ANY problems ever since.
…Going on SIX months now. I couldn’t be happier or more proud.
But YESTERDAY was different.
It always has been for us. At Good Friday services, childcare is only provided basically for infants and toddlers and my kids have made it virtually impossible for me to attend in recent years.
But last night, Jonny had volunteered to be a door-greeter for the service. He had also invited his best friend (our neighbor) to attend with him.
Since Jonny had to be at church nearly 45-minutes early, his friend needed a ride. And with Mama out of town, that meant if I wanted to give his friend a ride, I would need to also bring Jonah with me… to church, for the service…the ADULT SERVICE…with no childcare.
I was curious about how Jonah’s behavior would translate outside his normal “church routine,” but you guys…
He. Did. GREAT!! 🤩🤩🤩
No phone to play on. No tablet. No fidgets. No sensory items. Not even an age-specific curriculum to keep his interest.
He sat quietly in his seat, with his brother, and our neighbor.
For the ENTIRE SERVICE.
A year ago, this would not have been possible.
I wouldn’t have even CONSIDERED taking Jonah.
Honestly, I have video of Jonah not too long ago running up and down the aisles of the auditorium, climbing on and under chairs and having a merry old time.
I used to have to chase him all around the church after service, running lap after lap after lap, apologizing to people he ran into and making sure he never made it into the parking lot (he only did once. 🙄).
Not yesterday.
Yesterday, Jonah made it through his first Good Friday Service – a MOMENTOUS achievement, and even stayed after service to participate in some of the Good Friday “stations” they had.
This progress would not have been possible without so much help from our church, their children’s ministry, the accommodations they have made for us…
…and an Angel named Pam.
#ausome