“You are the most even-keeled parent I’ve ever seen.”
The orthodontist commented as she showed me Jonah’s (8-years old) teeth.
She was showing me how Jojo’s mouth was just too small to accommodate all his grownup teeth and how he would need 4 teeth pulled ASAP.
Do you know how “impossible” that is?
Jonah is autistic with sensory aversions. The dentist’s comment at his first CLEANING was “Wow. He’s strong, isn’t he?” 😳
It’s taken literally years for Jojo to be okay in a dentist’s office. So having not just one, but FOUR teeth pulled? This could be all kinds of disastrous.
It honestly felt like an insurmountable challenge.
But I just sat there, nodding at the orthodontist as she described this impossible task that we would need to do.
Why was I so calm?
I don’t know. Was it “resilience?”
Maybe.
Shock?
Possibly.
Honestly, I think at some point, you just get numb to the scope of the impossible challenges. It’s like someone telling you that you need to run either a hundred miles, or like 105 miles.
What I hear is “You either have to do the impossible, or the impossible ‘plus five.’”
Like, it’s almost laughable after a certain point.
But one thing I have learned is to never underestimate my kids.
We have been in countless “impossible” situations already.
Jonny (13 years old) had three surgeries before he was a year old.
Cleft palate. Bilateral Hip dysplasia. Completely immobilized in a full-body “Spika cast” for nearly two months.
Food and sensory aversions. Less than third percentile for his weight and so picky with his food intake, he would literally reject certain vintages of breast milk.
Countless weekly hospital visits with all the “specialists.” ENT. Audiologist. Geneticist. Cranial-facial review board. And the therapies… OT. PT. Speech therapy. Developmental play groups.
And he was so colicky, sometimes he would stay up screaming 12 hours straight through the night.
But we got through it.
All these insurmountable “things,” we have already overcome.
So when I heard that Jonny was missing like (was it six or eight?) permanent teeth, and would not have new ones grow in once the baby teeth came out, I was like… “welp? Add it to the list.”
It was just another piece of a puzzle that we had been putting together that we would later learn was (most likely) called “Kabuki Syndrome.”
But even with how hard it was with Jonny, he was our “easy one.”
Jonah was diagnosed as autistic at three years old. He was completely nonverbal and had several developmental delays.
Like Jonny, he also had food and sensory aversions, but he also had behavioral challenges.
He would be upset if his world wasn’t “ordered just so.”
He would lash out violently and have inconsolable meltdowns, sometimes lasting 2-3 hours straight.
He also didn’t sleep at night and often, I would just sleep on the floor in his room, partially so I could make sure he fell asleep, but mostly to make sure he stayed in his room.
He has “eloped” on me 4 times. That is, he completely escaped my vision and care on four different occasions. Once in a crowded baseball stadium. Once in a McDonalds parking lot. Once at DISNEYLAND. One time even from our own back yard (he kicked out a loose fence board at 4 years old).
When your child is nonverbal and completely dependent on you, to just “lose them” is the most terrifying anxiety-inducing thing a parent can endure.
But somehow, we have made it through each nerve-wracking ordeal.
Somehow, we have made it this far.
Somehow, the impossible is done.
I remember when it was “impossible” to take Jonny to the dentist’s office.
I remember when he would refuse to even open his mouth to let them clean his teeth.
I remember Jonah being even “worse” and it taking 3 people just to keep him sitting down.
Well, yesterday, I took both boys to the dentist’s office simultaneously BY MYSELF and both boys KILLED IT. They both got their teeth cleaned, did everything that was asked of them, and didn’t even have a single cavity.
There was a time, not too long ago that this would have been impossible, for either child.
But Jonah having FOUR teeth pulled?
That might be too much to ask of the little guy.
Would he need to be sedated? Would he be okay with just local anesthetics? Would Jonah freak out after the first extraction and need to be restrained?
It’s hard to say.
…Except Jonah has already done it. He’s had teeth extracted.
Yes. At Jonah’s LAST dental visit, he had FOUR teeth extracted and was awake for the whole thing. AND HE DID GREAT!
So this will make EIGHT teeth for Jonah that will have needed extraction.
Another impossible task.
I could see why the orthodontist would think I’m just “not bothered” by this news of yet another “impossible task.”
No, orthodontist. It’s not that I’m “even-keeled.”
“Impossible” is just “par” for our course.
We’re an Ausome family.
We do “impossible” every day.
We just did it yesterday. Twice.