We have sort of been in “cruise control” for a couple months.
We’ve figured out some “doable” routines for Jonah, but every change and transition has come with a cost…
We’ve probably had at least one screaming meltdown a week and some weeks, we had meltdowns every single day.
It was exhausting.
And yet, we’ve just kept moving forward.
A follower mentioned that I looked and sounded exhausted in my last video, which prompted me to really take stock of “me.”
I didn’t really “feel” exhausted when I was shooting the update so I shot a random selfie.
Wow. She was right.
I look utterly spent.
I think “anxious/depressed and exhausted” has just been my mood for so long, it has become my everyday norm.
😳
Man. I’m so glad Jonah has returned to in-person learning again, because those two-and-a-half hours a day (4 days a week) I get of “me time” now are like lifelines.
The last two days for two-and-a-half hours, I’ve been able to read. I’ve been able to write. I’ve been able to clean the house. Do some chores. Play the piano. Do NOTHING.
I even went to the store and sat in the parking lot for 20 minutes playing on my phone… a nice little mini “storecation.”
And I was safe in the knowledge that Jonah was LEARNING in an environment FAR better than what we could provide and that my family didn’t need to “buy time,” trying to entertain Jonah doing “any port in the storm” crazy things until Jonah could no-longer stand to be indoors while I was away.
I have total confidence in Jonah’s teachers.
And I think that above all is what gives me peace of mind. Jonah is learning, he is happy, and my family doesn’t need to shoulder Jonah’s anxieties while I take a much needed respite.
It’s amazing how a little bit of self care can start to change your whole outlook on life.
It’s the difference between surviving and thriving.
And I’m done just “surviving.”