I took these mischief-makers to the store with me today…something I’ve been avoiding for a while, since the last time didn’t go so well.
For those that don’t recall, Jonah kept running down the aisles ahead of me, laid on the floor when it was time to leave, and refused to get up or move when we were in line to pay…
When Jonny comes with me, he usually is like throwing gasoline on the fire. He will yell “NO NO Jonah!” but with a HUGE smile on his face, goading Jonah into doing whatever “Brother” is telling him NOT to do (usually running places he’s not supposed to be or trying to yell at the top of his lungs)
So today, I brought backup.
Mama was still working so I brought the next best thing. Our ABA therapist AND our BCBA.
It was part of today’s session.
At first, everything went “great.”
No issues. Jonah held my hand through the store. I quickly went from place to place and got my items.
The therapists basically just encouraged Jonah for doing a good job.
I asked Jonah what each item was and he happily named the different fruits and crackers.
Jonah needed ZERO promoting to stay with me.
I was starting to think I didn’t need to bring the therapists along after all.
Then we got in line to pay.
This is where things got especially dicey last time. At first, Jonah was laying flat on the ground. Then he sprinted away while my credit card was still being read by the machine as I was paying.
This time, I noted that Jonah did “great” not wanting his “preferred items” and didn’t fuss to go get them… (I was trying not to mention cinnamon rolls by name, because Jonah has not gotten through a trip to the store in the past several months without getting some cinnamon rolls. He then asks for them for virtually every meal until they are gone.) Yeah. We need a “break” from the cinnamon rolls.
And then my sweet 10-year-old jumped into the conversation.
“oh. You mean cinnamon rolls? Usually Jonah will scream for cinnamon rolls. I think the cinnamon rolls are that way. But he didn’t scream this time…. for the cinnamon rolls.”
Yeah. You think Jonah remembered “cinnamon rolls” THEN? He immediately started protesting to go back for cinnamon rolls.
But we were already in line.
I briefly considered just getting him some to keep him happy, (currently, if Jonah has a meltdown, Jonny will also have a meltdown about Jonah’s meltdown and I don’t usually have the resources to handle that in public).
Another associate asked if I wanted to use the “self-checkout” line. It seemed logical. There was no line there and we could “get it over with” quicker.
But I have learned that the less things I have distracting me when I’m in the store the better. And things like scanning and bagging my own groceries take MORE time because I also have to “parent” while doing that and the self checkout line is directly in front of the automatic doors Jonah has been known to sprint through at a moments notice.
So I kindly declined his offer.
Jonah continued to lay on the floor screaming.
I almost just turned around and got cinnamon rolls.
But then I remembered I had reinforcements. So we soldiered on. Jonah laid on the floor screaming. Both therapists were doing their best to redirect him, but more importantly, were keeping him safe (and not running out the door).
The cashier was trying to be polite and commented on Jonah and how very hard it can be sometimes, but that the kids do eventually learn. She said “believe me… I ‘get it.’ “
I told her that it has been quite a journey and she told me how her oldest daughter is autistic… so she genuinely recognized our situation… which made me extremely grateful.
No judgements.
Eventually, I finished and started walking towards the exit, which got Jonah back on his feet and following me, but still crying.
Eventually, he laid back down on the curb, just before we got into the parking lot.
I told our therapists that usually at this point, I would just throw him over my shoulder screaming (and Jonny also screaming about Jonah screaming) and push the cart with my other hand and just hope for the best, which is not an ideal solution, but often all I can do.
But with more adults, we had time to wait for Jonah to calm down without fear that we might not catch him if he started running toward the parking lot.
It only took a couple minutes. One of the therapists and a new sensory toy and let Jonah hold on to it.
And then Jonah just stood up, held my hand and we all walked back to the car…
No further issues.
We made it home, unloaded the groceries, and had a good rest of the session…
(Until he got to child care at church afterwards and I got called in to come get him because he had been throwing toys everywhere again and hurt one of his classmates, cutting open her ear. He wasn’t angry, I suspect, just bored. All the other kids are at least a couple years younger…I need to find a way to redirect him when I’m not there. We will try again next time.)
Sometimes we just need a little help. Whether it’s help from therapists with keeping the kids corralled or help from a friendly cashier saying she “gets it…”
Sometimes you win… sometimes you lose… but in all times, KEEP MOVING FORWARD.