This is an analogy I thought of while I was out with Jojo on the beach back in 2022.
“Special needs parenthood is like “rescue swimming” with your child in the open ocean.
Sometimes I feel like we are “treading water.”
Especially since 2020.
Almost like we are just trying to make it to tomorrow… or next week… or next month… or next YEAR… and we aren’t really making any developmental gains.
But then, I think… “no. We are definitely making progress…”
But “what kind of progress?”
And then my brain goes down the proverbial “which way should we ‘swim’?” rabbit hole of a million questions.
Are we moving in the “right direction?”
What IS the right direction?
What should our “goals moving forward” look like? What is a realistic expectation for us?
How will we know when we have “made it?”
WILL we make it?
Will we ever “find the shore?”
What does “shore” even look like for us?
Independence for our kids?
Living without assistance?
Established friendships and relationships?
A “support system” beyond just “us?”
Well adjusted?
Able to “cope” with life?
Is there any kind of time frame to meet those goals?
Will we ever be “done parenting” or will we just be in this phase of “parenthood” until we can no-longer “swim?”
There are too many unknowns at this point, and the anxiety it causes can almost be crippling.
And then I think, “GOOD LORD!” Jonny is already thirteen! Jonah is eight!
Their childhood is FLYING BY while I am worrying about all this stuff!
Jonny is in the twilight of his childhood years, and soon won’t be interested in “stuffies,” or toys or any of those things which have held his interest since he was a toddler!
How will he remember his childhood? Were the years enjoyable? What kind of memories have we made together?
Was I a good Dad? 😬
😳
** unspecified amount of time passes.**
When dealing with unknown paths, we have two different approaches.
Faith or fear.
If we live in fear of the unknown, we will drown in it.
We will be too afraid to “swim another stroke,” because we will be too worried about going the wrong way.
Fear says, “you may never make it to shore.”
Faith says, “it’s probably just over the horizon.”
Fear says, “you won’t be able to swim that far. You don’t have the endurance.”
Faith says, “maybe not, but I bet we could at least flag down one of these boats to help when we need it.”
Fear says, “how could any of these boats possibly know which way to go with your child?”
Faith says, “they have a compass and a big engine with lots of fuel. You can trust that they will figure it out.”
Fear says, “And what if they don’t? What if the engine stalls? What if the boat sinks?”
Faith says, “Look around you. You are not the only ones out here. There are hundreds and thousands of people out here swimming with you. You can do this, and you don’t need to do it alone.”
Fear says, “but what if my child NEVER learns how to swim?”
Faith says, “then he will learn to FLY.”
#Ausome