“If me and Jonah were in trouble and you could only save one of us, who would you save?”
😳
Yeah. Jonny asked me that question the other day, out of the blue.
I was just sitting playing on my phone, uncaffeinated, and zoning out after a long day of chasing Jonah at the beach and keeping him from having a meltdown at the spray ground. (He no-longer likes other kids pushing the button to turn the water on).
Basically, I was completely unprepared to answer.
“Well…”
Like… I hadn’t even CONSIDERED this question.
“Let’s see…”
Come-on brain. Think of things. Come-on brain. Think of things. Come-on brain. Be so smart. (IYKYK)
Hokay…
“It would depend on the situation, Jonny. First of all, I don’t believe there is a scenario where I couldn’t save both of you. Even if it were ‘objectively true,’ my brain doesn’t think like that. As a parent, my FIRST AND FOREMOST responsibility is to keep both of you alive and safe.
I wouldn’t think in terms of ‘who would I choose to save,’ I would think in terms of ‘who I would save FIRST.’
It would depend entirely on the situation. How could that situation realistically happen?
Say both of you fell into deep water. Maybe a big wave knocked you both off a boat and either your life jackets came off or they failed or something.
In that situation, I would jump in and save YOU first, because Jonah is a much stronger swimmer than you and I’ve seen him tread water without any help for over 5 minutes. So that should give me enough time to swim you back to safety and be able to go back and help HIM back to safety, if he hadn’t already gotten there himself.
But suppose we were in a car accident and you were both injured. I’m going to assist your brother first for two reasons:
1). He wouldn’t understand the situation and/or understand that we needed to exit the vehicle immediately and
2). If paramedics arrive, you could verbally communicate with them if you are in pain, tell them who you are and who everyone is, and explain what happened that caused the accident. Your brother can’t do that. So I would need to assist him.
We don’t know what the situation would be so there’s no way to tell, ‘who I would save.’
Honestly, I would save you both, or give my life trying. What made you think of this question?”
Jonny looked pensive.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “ I want to be a good big brother. But I just don’t know if I’d be able to save Jonah if it meant I’d … “
His voice trailed off.
“…pass away.”
His voice was barely audible and he was on the verge of tears. It was really causing him genuine anxiety. Ugh. My heartstrings.
😢
“Aww buddy. If you are ever in that position, don’t you EVER think it’s your fault. That is an IMPOSSIBLE situation and NONE of us know how we would react.
And don’t worry about what you would do. It’s something you have no control over right now and is just causing you more anxiety.”
I could tell Jonny was already feeling anxious. Let’s see… how could I explain it in a way he could relate…
Ah yes. Disney movies!
“It’s like in the movie ‘The Incredibles.’ Do you remember how Violet felt bad that she couldn’t make a force field around the airplane before it exploded, and then was able to finally make a force field around her family at the end to save them?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you remember what her mom told her when she was feeling anxious about it?”
“What?”
“If or when the time comes, you’ll know what to do. It’s in your blood.”
I continued, “And I know for a fact that you would know what to do. Do you remember that time we were at the pet store?”
Jonny perked up remembering. “Oh yeah!”
About 5 years ago when I was paying for some stuff at the pet store, Jonah had eloped at the very moment I had stuck my credit card in the card reader. He ran straight through the motion activated doors into the parking lot. I had panicked, not wanting to leave my card in the card reader, but also realizing I wouldn’t be able to drag Jonah back into the store without a meltdown.
In the split second I hesitated considering my options, Jonny (only 8 years old), immediately ran after his brother, chasing him even after he had made it outside, blocking his way in the middle of the busy parking lot and oncoming cars, just keeping him as safe as he could until I caught up to retrieve him.
“See, buddy? You didn’t even hesitate. Your brother was in trouble, so you leapt into action. You knew going into a busy parking lot was dangerous, but you ALSO knew it was MORE dangerous for Jonah to be there and you didn’t worry about the danger to yourself, you just wanted to protect your brother.”
“That’s called ‘bravery.’”
Jonnys demeanor changed. His eyes brightened and his spirits visibly lifted.
“So don’t worry about those things. I will do everything in my power to protect you guys, and I KNOW you will do everything in your power to protect your little brother. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Do you feel better?”
“Yeah.”
Jonny walked away. I thought about what he had said. I thought about what he had asked. I thought about the thought process that had led him to that train of thought.
And then I thought about what other questions he would soon be asking and …
Ugh. I need more caffeine.
#ausome