So, Fathers Day is coming up (stateside) and I am reminded of a poem I wrote…
Some moments define us.
Our actions in a specific place and time can shape “who we are.”
But other moments… other moments are just little random bits of time that life throws at us and somehow imprints on our souls.
There have been moments in my life that I have consciously captured, not ever wanting that moment to end.
Like the first time I lost a tooth. The last time I hit a home run. The time my mom threw me a surprise birthday party when I was 9.
Little moments like that.
One such moment was the last school day of 8th grade. I remember the busses all honking as they pulled out of the parking lot. To me, I considered it “the end of my childhood.”
I remember going on walks with my grandfather as a kid. He used to walk down the road to the railroad crossing, just watching the trains pass. He worked 47 years on the railroad and built most the track that went through town.
The sound of bamboo wind chimes and the smell of fried food will always remind me of their home. Grandma cooking in the kitchen, and Grandpa sitting in his favorite chair…
I have many moments like that tucked safely away in memory.
And there is this moment.
I was laying, much as I am now, on the floor of his bedroom. Jonah was laying on top of me, using me as a pillow, just trying to fall asleep.
I could feel his little heart beating. So fast. So content. His eyes closed. I dared not move for fear of disturbing him.
A perfect moment.
“Happiness.”
And even though I desperately wanted time to stand still just a little bit longer, I knew that too quickly, life would pass.
We would go from “then” to “now” and that perfect moment would always be “then.”
Past tense.
It makes me want to grab life by the tail and shake it as hard as I can, if only to shake loose a memory or two that I can hold on to.
Every day, life is passing. We are a day older. THEY are a day older. 2019 is already halfway over (can you believe THAT?)
Life goes by SO quickly.
Yesterday, I was spending a lazy afternoon with my grandparents.
Yesterday, I heard the busses honking as I finished my last day of 8th grade.
Yesterday, my Dad picked me up, after I sprinted into his arms and he called me his “big buddy.”
…one last time.
I am reminded that there will come a day when I pick my child up… put them back down, and never pick them up again.
And I won’t even realize that it was the “last time.”
So I will live today in this day, this minute, this second.
I will live every moment.
Because before I know it, this will all pass me by… and by tomorrow, EVERYTHING will be “yesterday.”