So “Demand Avoidance.”
Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), is not officially diagnosed in the US. But Jojo has been exhibiting a lot of demand avoidance.
A LOT.
I don’t actually know if it’s “PDA” But I was just wanting to reach out and see if any of you have also dealt with demand avoidance…
What are your strategies?
So some extra details about Jonah’s situation…
If he sees the lights on in the house, he turns them off. If you turn them on, he turns them off again. It could be pitch black in the house, and he will still turn them off. Unless HE needs the light. Then, he will turn them on.
If I tell him something he doesn’t want to hear (like “share” your toy,” “it’s time to go,” etc), many times he will throw whatever he is holding, either at me, or into the ceiling. He will continue to throw said item until I verbally tell him “All done [item].” He will even prompt ME to say “All done [item],” as he continues to throw it and then will ONLY stop after I have said it.
If I try to redirect him from an unwanted behavior, he will scream at me “All done [‘redirection’],” until I acknowledge and say “Okay, we are all done [with ‘redirection.’]”
And then at school…
He throws things. He stands on tables. Climbs on things he’s not supposed to. Dumps things out for the fun of it.
Messes with light sockets and power outlets… (yeaahh…) Just to get a rise out of his teachers.
He has taken to trying to get the new kids in trouble, because he likes to hear them cry.
So he models ‘unwanted behaviors’ he knows he’s not supposed to do just to get the other kids to do it so THEY get in trouble and cry… and then he laughs.
When it’s time for bed, he will yell for dinner, even if it’s been sitting in front of him for over an hour. And then when I tell him he can eat… he still won’t.
He will sit in the bathroom for up to and over an hour if he doesn’t want to pee… even if he hasn’t gone in like … all day. He unrolls the entire roll of toilet paper. He’s ripped the towel rack out of the wall.
He’s gone 2 FULL DAYS (48+ hours) without going pee. He’s gone a week (7 DAYS) on multiple occasions without going #2.
So we are actively trying to figure out how to address all the demand avoidance…
Also, I want to stress, that he’s not like this ALL THE TIME. Most days, he is pretty content as long as we keep the routines. But these are SOME of the examples we deal with on occasion.