We tried last night, guys.
We really did.
I’ve been posting a lot about things like “Don’t put limits on Jonah because he will break them…”
So we decided to test that.
Our plan was for Mama to take Jonny to the Harvest Festival at our church and for me to stay home with Jonah and pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters, should we get any… and should Jonah be “okay” with it.
Mama had actually volunteered to run a booth there, so she couldn’t actually leave until it ended.
Well, we bought a costume for Jonah that was still completely in its package. Typically, he doesn’t “do” costumes, but he is trying more and more new things so, we thought we’d give it a shot.
It was a “Dash” costume (from the movie The Incredibles…Appropriate eh?)
As soon as Jonah saw Jonny had a costume on, he immediately wanted to put a costume on as well. So we put it on him and he was ABSOLUTELY THRILLED!
And when Jonny, went and got his shoes on, Jonah went and found his shoes and started putting them on…
So I thought… “well… let’s see how he does just “trick-or-treating” around our house.”
We went ONLY to neighbors we know well.
Jonny rang the doorbell of the first house. As soon as our neighbor opened the door, Jonah sprinted right into his living room.
Jonah has been in their house before and was looking for the toys he played with. (I mean, why else would we knock on their door?)
We finally corralled him and they put some candy in his bag. (Did I mention he will actually eat Reeses Peanut Butter cups now?)
He had a big grin and was more than happy to let us escort him back off their property. (We’ll call it a “partial win.”)
By the second house, Jonah had figured “it” out.
If I were to make a visual schedule, it would be something like this.
1) Knock on door.
2) Say “Trick-or-treat”
3) Candy.
4) Next house.
But then, while walking to the second house, it started raining. Jonah doesn’t particularly like being in the rain. (who does, really?)
So we called it quits after 2 houses.
But that’s HUGE right??
So Jonny and Mama were headed to the Harvest Festival at church, but Jojo was NOT happy about not being able to go where Jonny was going.
We figured, he had done so well up to this point, why not give it a shot?
So we did.
We took Jojo to our church (a place he is familiar, where his NUMBER ONE THING TO DO is “run ALL OVER”)
And that’s exactly what he did. For all of about 5 minutes. (There were HUNDREDS of kids)…
He found a particular booth that piqued his interest. It as a toy ‘catapult’ that slung a foosball into a soccer goal. If they made it, they got candy.
Jonah was enamored. He saw other kids doing it. He wanted to do it.
But there was a line. And he did not feel like waiting for a turn, and even when they let him do it out of turn, he wanted to do it “over and over again.” He had latched on to this game.
I could already see the rest of the night unfolding and started regretting the decision to bring him.
I told Jonah that we needed to go wait in line for a turn.
He verbally told me “NO!”
I tried to take him to the back of the line with me.
He screamed and rolled on the floor.
I tried to redirect him to other fun things around, but it was too late. The meltdown had started.
There was SO MUCH going on, when things weren’t going his way, he just couldn’t get a bearing on the situation, in order to be redirected.
So I decided he just needed to get out of that environment.
We had taken separate cars in case something like this happened.
So I had to carry Jonah all the way back to the car. I barely managed it. He’s so big now. He screamed the whole way.
At first, he just wanted to stay, but I told him we were headed home.
That made it worse.
He screamed and threw things in the front seat of the car for about 10 minutes.
Then, while still screaming, he climbed into his seat in the back and put his seat belt on.
I couldn’t believe it.
We drove home… He was mostly fine… until we actually got home.
Then it started up again.
He didn’t want to get out of his seat. He wanted to go back. I told him we weren’t going back. He started screaming again.
Then, he said he was thirsty. I told him to come in and we would get a drink.
So he did.
He came inside. I shut the door behind him, and then he realized he couldn’t get back out into the car. After taking a drink, he threw the cup and all of its contents all over.
He started throwing the cup over and over again.
I encouraged him to tell me what he was feeling. “What’s wrong Jojo?”
“Brudder come back!”
He wanted Jonny to come home too. If he couldn’t have be where he wanted, he didn’t want his brother to get all the fun.
And that is TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE, guys. So, I told him, ‘brother’ would be home soon.
Not good enough.
Soon, it went from “brudder, come back!” to “Mama, come back!” as well.
Mama couldn’t come back until it was over, and Jonny wouldn’t be back until then as well, so I put a movie he hadn’t watch in a while on and he started to calm down… but every so often, he would start sobbing again, until finally, an hour and a half after it began, he finally said “Dada, up.” (Hold me).
And I picked him up and hugged him tight, and he finally took some deep breaths.
I was able to sit down with him on my lap, and after a few minutes, he crawled onto the couch and pulled some blankets up over him and just watched the movie.
He was starting to get sleepy. I asked him if he wanted to go put ‘Jammies’ on (start bedtime routine), he said “No, thank you.”
He was going to wait for Mama and Brother to get home. So we did.
As the movie was ending, Jonny and Mama finally came home, and Jonah was happy again.
Finally.
I’m so sorry, Jojo.
We dropped the ball this year for Halloween. We could have planned that so much better for you. We could have practiced waiting in lines. We could have watched videos of previous harvest festivals, or figured out a better redirection method.
Or better yet, we could have even gone somewhere more sensory-friendly, instead.
I’m so glad you are open to try new things. Thank you for being open to it. You have come so far, buddy.
Next year, we will do better.