9pm me: “I’m gonna just give him some melatonin, he’ll go down. I’ll have a restful evening. Get a good nights sleep. Maybe I’ll go to the gym at 5am full of wakefulness and so well-rested I will just JOG there and back.”
1:45am me: “Well, you might be able to scavenge 4 hours of sleep tonight before you have to muster up the energy to drag yourself down to the coffeemaker just to wake up and function properly…”
*edit–because it’s now 4am
4am me: “WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SLEEP, KID!! Why do you have to come and roll around on me when I’m already laying on the floor in your room?
It’s easy! Get your feet out my face. Close your eyes. SLEEP!! You can even stay here on the floor with me if you promise you will let me sleep for like 2 hours. TWO HOURS!