Parenting kids with different needs can be difficult sometimes. We will react differently for each kid in the same situation.
And fair doesn’t always mean equal.
When Jonny teases Jonah, I yell at Jonny to stop teasing his brother. Jonah has a very low tolerance and will meltdown quickly.
When Jonah teases Jonny, I am happy that Jonah has engaged with Jonny enough to tease him.
Each child has different needs, and my kids understand this. But they don’t always like it.
Jonah was hitting a pool “noodle” on the toy box, creating a loud “slapping” sound, which made Jonny cringe and cover his ears. He told Jonah to stop.
Jonah got a twinkle in his eye and a little grin and did it again.
Jonny again told him to stop (actually, more like whined at him) earning a full belly laugh from Jonah who did it again, looking for his brother’s reaction with a big smile, obviously teasing him.
Jonny then started whining at Daddy about Jonah teasing him. This picture was Daddy’s solution.
If it was the other way around, I would have asked Jonny to stop, but in this case, Jonah initiated the social interaction and I want to nurture that desire to interact with his brother.
Equal? No.
Fair? Yes.